I am just so outraged at the idea of a father, the man who is suppose be the leader and protector of his family, does not have the b@lls to tell his wife "No, my child will not be allowed to have unmarital sex under my roof"! Let's hope to God your wife doesn't decide to let her take drugs.....thinking she's going to anyway.... and wants her to do safely at home!!
No wonder your daughter has no respect for you! You have to actually act like a responsible adult in order to have respect. No wonder she despises you and talks to you like she does. You have allowed her to do anything she wants........just so long as it is okay with mother........and you are scared to say something to upset her, afraid she won't go stay with you when you move out.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!