Ladies, I'm here to tell you the God's honest truth. No man who would ever want to cheat with you really loves you, he just wants in your pants regardless of what his words say.
If that's true, and I'm not saying it isn't, then WHY are the men so willing to throw their W's away for the OW? He's not worried about loosing ME, he's worried about loosing HER.
That's an affair fog. It is infatuation only. Like losing your drug of choice. Addicted to the endorphins dopamine and oxytocin. He isn't worried about losing OW, he doesn't want to lose how the A makes him feel. It's about his feelings not about the OW.
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Originally Posted By: TxHubby
I still blame my wife for her part in the whole thing but I can also recognize that she is back from crazy land. It does happen. Sometimes they do snap out of it.
I will also swear that you have ZERO chance to work anything out with a cheating spouse while they are still cheating. That would be like playing nice and hoping a loved one wises up and leaves a religious cult. That happens so very rarely. You have a way higher chance of success in getting rid of the external influence on your cheater. That allows the fog to clear
Your W's affair was blasted by the OMs W, but, like in the case of my H, the OW isn't married. So, I have NO chance of her H blasting the affair! Not sure exactly how a spouse would accomplish this when there affair partner doesn't have a spouse. Thoughts??
All sorts of reactions break the addiction for an OW or OM. OW/OM is a scuzzy, pond scum, not a nice person. Give the particular specimen an invalidating name, I have had the fishwife, Maggotroni, tatty bum bum (that's 3 OW, one after the other). Busted one, fishwife and she was replaced by another, briefly Zit features (aka pizza face). My WH was wayward in all aspects. I stopped one A from starting only to find he had another already in the pipeline, he even told a mutual friend he was going to be a gigglo! Another he showed his history of the women that he had chatted to on dating sites referring to them as dogs.
We have had in other sitches the duck, quasi, tart au citron (French fancy). Some of them were M, some D, sone S, some Free, but all were pond scum. These waywards affair down, lucky them.
It isn't about the A partner, it's about the wayward and their addiction. One posters WW woke up when her charmer of an OM passed on Herpes. Nasty little worm knew he had it and didn't care.
The actual A partner doesn't count for much and most As fizzle out in the daylight.. We had one EA where the EA partner didn't want to be involved at all and was actively encouraging the wayward to go away. The wayward was still wayward and persuing an A.
I did once categorise OWs and OMs just for fun.
A gf or a bf is different. The spouse walked away from their M in a non wayward state and then started D. That's not wayward in my book and these Rs are real potential Rs. Some LBS in LRT aquire a new R. Old Dog for instance, Greengrass and that's not wayward.
Wayward is being in one R and addicted to the way an OP makes you feel about yourself but disguising your A, sneaky, tacky stuff. If an R is failing work on it first, cease the R before moving on. Waywards know what they do is wrong that's why they are ashamed and hide it.
Many of them realise their A will burn out or be unsucessful so they hang on to their M as plan B, just in case. Shame and guilt and the light of day may work. In other cases it makes no difference and they are MLC. My WH was abusive and this was in his abuse kit.
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My 10c for what it's worth.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
