Wow... Sandi... I think I have learned more from you just today than I have learned in all of my reading. You should write a book. You have us pretty much pegged. I am overboard or obsessive in nature. She is the opposite. Loves sleeping in and loves vacations. In the last few years I have taken over doing everything around the house and with the kids... I kept thinking if she had less stresses in life she would be happier and I don't mind doing work. I'm wired that way. I have talked with my counselor about letter her do more of the work and how I NEED to do that. It's not that she won't it's just that I do it before she gets a chance... It's nothing for me to get the kids to clean the bathrooms (and touch up after), do the laundry, vacuum, clean the kitchen, then play video games with my boys and read books to my daughter... And I have zero resentment for doing any of it. I probably have spoiled her. Part of our money problems are because I always say, go ahead, buy it... I'll make some extra money doing some extra jobs. We both have very good jobs and I find myself doing side jobs to make extra money that I never spend on myself.
That's why it's tough feeling so betrayed after all I have done... Plus I take care of myself, being in good shape and looking nice all the time. I can go out to the bar and have women approach me on a regular basis.
I swear I'm not full of myself... I am really a humble person. Hard to believe I know... I would never say these things to anyone in person, but I won't sell myself short here. I bring a lot to the table... but I need to STOP doing everything and start getting out and doing stuff for myself. But I have no idea what I want to do. In the summer it's easy. I love to golf. In the winter it's another story.
I'm not saying I deserve this... I grew up Catholic, but stopped going to church after I got married because my wife was Christian, but not Catholic... so we chose nothing. A mistake in my mind now. I'm not a holy roller but if I shared some of the experiences I have had where God has tried to reach out to me you would think I would be making them up. Long story short, my mom had cancer a few years ago... I went to every apt with her. It was sad watching her die. No way I could have been as strong as I was on my own. God helped me through that. I was close to Him at that time... but then life got easy and I lost sight of him again. So if feels like He hit me with the ultimate wake up call here. I had made my W my God... I put her on a pedestal so high she would have had to look down to see God. Now I realize how bad that was for me.
So, I'm looking at this as a chance to get my priorities right. God is first. Then I need to make sure I am the best person I can be. Then my marriage. Then my kids. I can't fix my marriage now so I'm working on my relationship with God and being the best person I can be. It's working most days. Other days Xanax does the job.
You have us pretty much pegged. I am overboard or obsessive in nature. She is the opposite. Loves sleeping in and loves vacations. In the last few years I have taken over doing everything around the house and with the kids... I kept thinking if she had less stresses in life she would be happier and I don't mind doing work. I'm wired that way. I have talked with my counselor about letter her do more of the work and how I NEED to do that. It's not that she won't it's just that I do it before she gets a chance... It's nothing for me to get the kids to clean the bathrooms (and touch up after), do the laundry, vacuum, clean the kitchen, then play video games with my boys and read books to my daughter... And I have zero resentment for doing any of it. I probably have spoiled her. Part of our money problems are because I always say, go ahead, buy it... I'll make some extra money doing some extra jobs. We both have very good jobs and I find myself doing side jobs to make extra money that I never spend on myself. 