The advice to back off on A's and let them run their course is terrible advice. Why? Because while you're saying nothing, the AP is filling their heads with everything they want to hear and the betrayed spouse is offering no counter-argument.
So when is it, "you have to stay close so that you have opportunities to DB and rebuild a connection" and when is it "you have to go dark and if in an in-house situation, get them out"?
Tx, what you said seems to go against the going dark theory. What are you saying and in what tone to what she is hearing? I assume she would be hearing, "what we have is true love", "I want you to move in with me and we can share expenses", "I know your husband put you through hell all those years, I will make you happy". Maybe you can come up with a bunch of things you know were being said in your sitch. Can you expand more on your comment?
H:54 W:46 D:11 D:21 M:12 BD:1/15 In-house Separation 2/15 DB started 7/15, W sees consistency 9/15 Dropping the rope and having her leave 2/16, moves 5/16 Reconciliation 1/17 Obviously still struggling
