1st time - Do I detach or keep showing her my best

[Squiggy]

Love is something we choose to give to others and choose to accept from others.

Or actions we take to show love, such as choosing to love someone by walking away from an unproductive argument.

She wants to feel passion...but she's waiting around to feel it instead of taking actions to feel it.

Because she doesn't know what real Love is. Passion comes and goes.

I'm not even going to try and compete with Cadet and sandi. They have a much greater amount of experience here than I, and you should take heart of all their words. I just want to throw in some thoughts, because I've been in your shoes.

SLOW DOWN. I read all of your posts so far, and I really get the sense you are pushing, even after getting some insight into the recovering WW's mindset. She is on her own schedule, and there are limited things you can do. Be calm, give her space, create a loving environment without expectations, and work on yourself.

Remember, you contributed to this sitch just like she did. Whether it was the angry summer or not showing enough affection or whatever it may be, you had an impact on how she felt in the MR that contributed to her going into an EA. If I hadn't realized this for myself and with help from here, I would not be recovering my marriage.

Work the 180s/GAL. I get the guilt. During my most stressful times at work, I was overly harsh with my kid when I was home. I felt tremendous guilt. Like you my child became my savior. However, I bordered on losing myself to him, but how my W did in the beginning. Put some time directly into you, independent of the kids, and they will still feel the benefit.