How did you mess up? You were making sure you protected the things that are to stay. You kept your distance emotionally and put on a PMA. You accepted a hug, because you CHOSE to accept it. You broke down on your own time, not in front of him. Call me crazy, or if I'm reading it wrong, but that sounds like a success to me.
I don't know I just feel Like I did for asking him about what he was taking and then crying after and for wanting that hug. I feel like I should be stronger then I am. It makes me feel better for not being a complete failure in your eyes though!
I will see him monday or tuesday and then not again until Vday weekend. My friends keep telling me if he has any plans on vday weekend it means there is someone else and just that thought is making me starting to crack out. I know we aren't doing anything together or spending any time with each other or even saying happy vday but I am cracking out bad being paranoid about it.
I guess my goals until I see him is keep doing the same as before..only talk about kids. Don't call or text him. Don't stalk him. Don't tell him details of my life. Try to be happy sounding. Weekend goals.
