You give in and you don't see your H coming back...
You give in and you don't see your H coming back...
You give in and you don't see your H coming back. ..
You are not seeing wrong, that's what happens when you don't put yourself first. It's a repetition of pain. You feel the need of him, but you keep losing yourself in the process.
I did this. And I cried hard many times. I felt like garbage. I felt he rejected me over, and over and over for each time I had some crumbs of his love.
You may need to walk this path as I did and then learn to respect yourself as I did. Sometimes the only voice we hear is the pain we feel.
Until one day that the pain of saying no more is so much smaller then a few moments of "snuggle" that you will stand up for yourself, with your head tall and say that you want him, but you don't need him.
That will be "YOUR" choice, that will be when you look in the mirror and see a woman you can be proud to see.
I am not ashamed to say I fail myself many times, I learned a huge lesson that will be with me forever. I was in a dark well, but I gather my energy and crawled back out. I am myself now and I have my pride. There is no Snuggle that can replace that.
Think about you. Think of what you want to accomplish, think of who you want to see in the mirror.
You know deep inside that you want him back and you know what you need to do for that to happen.
It's hard work sweetie, it will take a ton of tears from you. My first two days in therapy I throw up, the pain in my body was brutal, I lost a lot of weight, I couldn't sleep, I needed anti-depressants. I was a mess.
I got better only when I decided that it would be less pain if I said ENOUGH.
I am not all better, neither all done. It still hurts that my XH did so much. Made me feel so miserable. It's a long road to recovery. I am just proud I could break that insane cicle of pain.
I can only tell you all this, the decision in your life is yours, only yours.
Lots of hugs to you. It is indeed very painful. Be nice to yourself.
