WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE Part II

[sandi2]

I failed to see your post about the phone. I really hate that happened. Pretty much places you two back further than square one. And the really scary part is that she will be at her most weakest after this, b/c she has said the D is back on. That leaves little reason for her to continue honoring the NC. All you can do is pray that she doesn't, b/c every time she does contact him then the withdrawals have to start all over again.

I agree about her giving her phone when she says.... not being real transparency. It's not! But either way, it looks as if there will be a start over......if there is going to be a reconciliation. The fact that she's changed her logins or passwords is not a good sign. I would be very shocked if she was doing it to keep you out just to have power over it.....if there is nothing to hide. And if she is that stubborn and unpliable, it is going to be very difficult for you to ever know what's going on for sure, even if she was doing nothing wrong.

I am so sorry for you, Trumpet. You have a tough decision, and I don't think it is wise, at this point, to tell her you will agree to her terms.

Being neighborly without deep conversation. Not caring if she wants to engage fixing us, even if we have a 3 month time limit. I have to keep telling myself she was the one who wanted the divorce, for years she talked about it. She filed. She served me. She did the hold on the divorce. She hates me (supposedly). She gets angry at me all the time.

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I honestly don't think staying under the same roof while waiting on a D is good at all. But do whatever your lawyer advises. I believe after all that has happened recently, it would take a miracle to change her mind with you both living in the same house. She doesn't need to see you or even come in contact with you. Drop the rope, go dark.......whatever you want to call it, but get away from her and stay away until she comes to you and is ready to do what you require of her. You would have three months, if you don't waste time.

Whenever a LBH tries to push his WW into reconciling, and she's not ready, it doesn't have a good ending. If she though you had seriously had enough of this kind of behavior from her.........it might.....it MIGHT just make her stop and think. However, this old stuff about going back and detaching again, etc., is not going to do a thing to change this sitch, IMHO.