He loves me he loves me not

[JulieH]

Fo, Preceding him leaving, we had a really stressful year. We had moved in with my parents to save money. I had some pretty serious health issues and he just escaped into work, slowly detaching. He has some validity to what he was upset at me for, but I also think he was not empathetic to what I had experienced (pregnancy, cancer diagnosis and bad miscarriage and strong desire to get pregnant again) he became nasty and resentful and basically isolated himself to basement. He suggested marriage counseling but he never had time to actually do any of the exercises she suggested. The sessions consisted of him yelling at me and complaining to therapist about my anxiety and refusal to work full time. I pursued and became a pathetic mess. He was disappearing to gym, going out with friends and basically avoiding me. I was constantly asking about affair. He continues to deny and would tell me " how could I possibly handle another woman. It's the last thing I could deal with" I was following my own version of divorce busting, but really he wanted space and I kept pushing relationship talks. He was sulky, nasty. Would say things like "let your parents watch the kids for once"...meanwhile they were bending over backwards to help me. He would get mad at them because to schedule marriage counseling they did not want to babysit in the middle of the day, and he would not schedule appointments early in morning because he did not want to wake up early. The selfishness and sense of entitlement was just so beyond anything normal..

To this day, I cry thinking about being pregnant and literally 2 days post surgery and him waking me up at 7 30 am telling me it's my turn to watch kids. He needs to sleep. (This was Sunday and no he does not work night shifts)

I am having a hard time getting past a lot of this, because I can't understand how he rationalized these behaviors. I know I am not supposed to diagnose but I often felt like I was dealing with someone on the spectrum. (This has been questioned by others as well)