I'm afraid I won't get that chance. I wonder if I have the stamina to be patient. Even though I want to be in this for the long haul. 15+ years of commitment has crumbled into this horrible end result. I see no end.
When you're going through a dark tunnel, it's brighter in the beginning when you can still see light from the outside. As you get closer to the other side, it's really, really dark in the middle because you can't see the light anymore. The darkest point is always just before you turn the corner to the other side. Don't let the dark discourage you. Just because you can't see the end doesn't mean you aren't just about to break through into the light.
You are stronger than you think. If someone had told me nearly 20 months ago that I would keep going this long, I would have thought they were crazy too. But you do it because you have to if you want a chance at repairing your M. It's not over until you decide you've had enough and walk away. And maybe, not even then. Life is funny like that.
