Thank you for your response... I am sure she has feelings for the OM... I believe she loves me and chooses me, but I'm not sure if she can let go of those feelings and if she can it won't be easy. I think I have handled this very maturely and even empathized with her. I want to help her, but know it's up to her. I'm not trying to toot my own horn but my counselor and pastor have both told me I have handled this with more grace and understanding than a normal person would. I'm not a saint or a hero... I do love my wife and still see so much good in her. We still have so much good time together right now. I am making progress by being the best individual I can be, but it's slow. I am ok with that. I am considering the detach idea. But it's tough to find things to do or GAL when I feel like my kids need me most, since she is so distant right now. I agree that she built the guy up to be a perfect guy in her mind. He is married too and has 3 small kids... I'm guessing she's not envisioning a mixed family vacation with 6 kids in tow. Plus if he is cheating on his wife is he really that perfect of a guy? The hardest part is I want things... I want an apology.. I want her begging me to take her back. I want her swearing she will be the best wife ever... but I know those things won't happen. Or at least right now.
I am settling in for the long haul. My 3 kids are worth the effort, but even without them I think we have something great worth fighting for. She knows it too, but also knows she's in a bad place. Your comparison to addiction is the closest I can compare it to.
I am finding strength in God, knowing that I am going to be fine no matter what. I have a lot going for me. I have wonderful children. I have supportive friends and family. So I will be happy again some day. I would just rather it be with the person I chose to marry.
How long did it take for you to get over the other man? If you ever did? Did you get it back for your husband?
