WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE Part II

[Squiggy]

The best I felt was when I was on my own, DB'ing with some separation, and working just on me.

It really was, wasn't it? I got over the anxiety prior to, and it all returned in a different format. You have to remain strong and show her the path without forcing her to take it. Letting go of control was rough, remember?

It's difficult with her precisely because you love her so much. Your being here is a testament to that fact. You have 3 months until the D takes another step forward. It also doesn't mean anything until you say it does. Stay strong.

I would highly recommend Retrouvaille. We use what they taught daily. You two might not be ready for it though. There's a ton of resentment built up within your wife that could possibly get in the way. They say a spouse only needs to be willing to listen for it to be effective. I'm not sure where your W is with it.

I saw you posted

That's really difficult for me - my heart was never with the computer, but to my W, my heart was never with her. Her heart is still with OM.

Have you done more thinking about the judgment you have? Despite what spiritual, moral, or value base you come from, the impact upon your wife was equivalent to adultery. She truly felt as though you were cheating with people on a screen and replacing her. That ties into forgiveness by helping you to really see the A as a symptom of the old M, and it can easily be connected to the lack of closeness and affection she felt from your addiction to porn, which she filled through the A. Focus on the impact of the situation, not whether it is right or wrong.