WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE Part II

[Squiggy]

Piecing is difficult, bud. It really is, and there's no perfect guideline for it. One thing I've found is that each person definitely heals at different paces for different reasons. In my case I had done much more personal work than W did while separated. By the time we got to Retrouvaille, I was entirely focused on the MR while she was still working on her own demons and guilt. I saw her struggle for months afterwards as well. What worked and kept us going strong was that I stayed strong and stuck with my changes, DBing, and the things from Retrouvaille. Someone has to lead. For example, and I'm laughing while I write this, I remember our first argument a couple weeks after the Retrouvaille weekend. She got SO mad at me when I told her I'm choosing to love her by walking away until we both calm down.

Relax, don't try and fix, and validate. Work on that trust and show her that you really have changed and give her the space to do so herself. Piecing takes time and will have bumps along the road. Do your best to keep that road smooth.