WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE Part II

[trumpet]

So, good last few days.

I said goodnight to wife in our old bedroom. She fell asleep quickly. I had an urge - I picked up her phone and she has changed her login again! grr. Well, too many attempts, and the iphone locked for 1 min. I left it and went to bed.

She was irate this morning that I would try to violate her again and pry into her life. She had to reset her phone for some reason - I think she had logged in incorrectly after last night.

Anyway, I'm the fixer, I try to explain, she will have none of it. Says she can't live like this, and will be contacting her lawyer to re-start the divorce. I try to apologize - she is still pissed. I asked 'why would you change your password if you have nothing to hide?' - she says she was happy to show me the phone on her terms, if I asked and she was ready, but me snooping makes it a violation of her privacy.

Now - I have no access to anything, have not in a week. To build trust, I'm supposed to just leave her alone, and ask when I need to. My trust in her is destroyed. I don't believe anything she tells me, so I was trying to verify.

Ugh. I did screw up. I tried to talk with her. I apologized. She said she will not forgive me. She said she really hates me, and wonders what she's doing all this for when she can't stand me.

Truly, the only conversations we can do is 'good morning' and good night', with kid stuff in between. With no work going on in the relationship, will the next 3 months of the divorce 'hold' really do anything? I want to fix, but a good friend said just trust the Holy Spirit to work, leave her alone, and start building my own life as if I'm already divorced.


So, folks - a few questions:
How do you build trust?
What does true forgiveness look like? Have I truly forgiven her?