It's now been 3 days since any contact with W. Other than the morning after dropping off the boys to see if S3 was feeling better.
It's a very strange feeling. A mix of sadness, acceptance, relief, pain, loneliness. I have been kept busy with school. I went out tonight with a group of friends for supper and had a good time visiting. I find my mind wandering to W as it was a group we did spend time with.
There was no talk of her or R. A friend/ colleague asked how I was doing in a sincere way. I said I'm doing good. School keeps me busy.
I did get out to the gym tonight and was able to work out. That helped occupy sometime.
As I am writing this I find myself in tears because I realize I don't really have anyone to share my day with anymore. Not like I used to be able to with W. It's not the same with friends or family as it was sharing with spouse.
I find it so quiet at home unless I turn on music or am doing something. It bothers me when I can hear the clock ticking or the humm of the electricity in an appliance. Lol.
I find myself thinking of her less each day and yet more at the same time if that makes any sense. The frequency is less but the thoughts are more powerful and that makes its hard.
Ii honestly think this may be the lowest I have been since the day she left. I lived through that day and I will make it through this one. Each day is a new day full of blessings, you just have to be looking for them because not all will stand out for you to appreciate.
Make sure you do appreciate the blessings you do find tho
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
