Here again after 9 years and struggling 4

[Rain75]

Inpain...I have been here too. It's insane to me as well that they don't acknowledge that us being sad or on edge or whatever is because of what they've done. But right now they don't believe that. They can't. The guilt would be overwhelming.

And the projecting and exaggerating they do is maddening. Him saying that ALL you do is shout. Come on IP...you know it's not true and so does H. But again, from my own situation and reading here about our fellow DBers it is common. They feel a need to villanize us, especially when they're feeling down, to justify their crazy.

I'm not going to tell you to rise above it or to pretend right now. He left for the night and the kids are in bed. Cry if you need to. Beat a pillow or scream into it.

But Rouky and Thornton are right. Tomorrow is a new day sweetie. You can turn it around. If tonight would have been the straw that broke the camels back R wise he could have very well told you he was going to his lawyer tomorrow. He didn't. And hey, even if he did. So what? Anna's H did just that and has never turned the papers in.

It was just a tough few days is all. Re-read DR. I took mine out to read tonight as XF is meant to come by tomorrow. I want to really get into the 180s in case he actually shows up.

We are sad, heart broken, angry and frustrated and at our wits end. We have a right to be. But has showing them this helped us in any way? Has it brought us closer to them? No and no.

So, and you know this from last time, are we going to keep doing it or find something new, something different? I vote for new ans different. And a baby step in that direction are the 180s. How different would the past days have gone had you not done "more of the same"? Had you not given H exactly was he assumes he can expect from you?

I wish I could do more than commiserate with you here. But at least we have each other on this BB. There are millions of people going through this alone.

I always keep all of you in my prayers. And we can make tomorrow a better day IP. We can! My day wasn't so hot either. But like Rouky said...a beginners mind. That's what we need. Im going to post over at mine in a bit. Maybe I'll even post some of my 180s.

How about your 180s?

We can't convince ourselves we've lost and done everything if we don't actually implement DB and DR. What we are doing just isnt working and we end up miserable. I want to be able to look at my life and my kids in 5 years and genuinely be able to know and say that I did EVERYTHING I could to save our family or, if it works, look at him and our kids and smile knowing that it took one to tango and I held our family together and look at what a wonderful place we are now.

So, 180s IP?

(((((Inpain))))))