Trumpet I was thinking about the healing at different paces. I am right there with you- ready to move on, while my H is just as stuck as he was at BD. (Yes, I am mind reading.) I think it has to do with how long the spouse feels like he/she was victimized. For your w, 15 years, for my H 26 years. If you really and truly have convinced yourself that you are a victim then healing might never come. At some point do we decide to walk away ourselves or to stay in a situation that might never improve. I don't know when that day will come. I used to think it never would, now sometimes I think that walking away might be the very thing my H needs for me to do for him to heal. It hurts no matter what happens.
I agree with your friend that you are handling this very well.
