IP - the only thing you can control is you. Is it possible that the pain you are suffering is making you snappy?
If so, I get it. But you need to foster an environment that makes your house a safe place for your H. ACT AS IF you are just fine. Fake it! Always remain calm around him. When he leaves, then you can punch a pillow and write an angry letter to him that you never send.
It's not too late and you can still turn it around.
