WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE Part II

[trumpet]

And for the other side of the coin, RE: porn, I think you know better. Yes, PA is awful and the worst. There's reason why Jesus Christ says that a man even looking at woman that way is the same. Don't dismiss her feelings. They are real and there is real damage.
Sorry to be blunt and harsh. I know you've come so far. She has far to come too. Don't dismiss her...be firm. Just as you have encouraged me. :-)

Kyrie, thank you. Simply, it's my pride getting in the way.

The longer I'm away from the porn, the more I realize what my needs and wants are. Then doubt creeps in, since the porn was a way to self-medicate myself for the desires I wasn't getting met. Could I stay married to just have a friendship, and for the kids, and for the hope that someday, sometime, my wife comes around? Will I become the husband they she can't imagine leaving, and then change? Will she just tire of having me around?

If her example of growing up was a mom who gave very little to her dad, and her dad was happy with it, will she forever expect that relationship to be the example of a Christian wife/husband? Will disrespect be something she'll always have for a husband?

I have lots of growing to do. It's tough to see the light bulb go on in my brain, but my wife to see her hopes going back to the way it was.

TxHubby - No, wayward is no longer contacting OM. At issue is transparency - she feels like I have no right to access her phone or email. That trust and respect for her is something I should naturally have.