I am beginning to understand more completely how little control we have over anything other than our own behavior. Letting go is probably the most difficult thing I have ever done. I also think it is the most loving. My H says he doesn't want a D. But he doesn't trust me to change enough to come home. I can't fight that. So I won't. I will just focus on me and what I have to change in my behavior to make me happy without him. Its painful, but it is getting easier.
I'm realizing that when I was happiest I had a "whatever happens, happens" attitude. Not that I didn't have goals and work to reach them, but I really didn't stress about the perfect outcome. I used to enjoy the journey. I'm learning to get back to that.
Not about getting what we want, but wanting what we get. I kind of understand. The first part, not getting what we want, is easier for me to stomach. The second part, wanting what we get...that's where I feel the fight. But I guess if you feel you can't want what you get, you can just go on another journey. You don't have to settle.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
