Hi Ghost. Been reading and not sure you want to " get it " Jelly offered great advice but your not seeing it. Let go of the hurt and the injustice of your Ws actions for a minute Your W no longer wants to be married , that's how she is feeling right now
Ghost however does want to be married and that's how he's feeling right now , ghost has wise DB vets ( and the rest of us ) telling him he must accept this but at the moment Ghost can't , now put yourself in Ws shoes , she doesn't want to be married and the only person who is telling / showing her she's wrong is you.
If you can't accept what lots of well meaning people are telling you then why would W be any different ? She's made up her mind ., she's not going to change it easily if ever W took years to get to this point and whatever her reasons are ( real or imagined ) she made her choice.
JellyB is telling you to stand strong , show W that your life will go on and you will be ok Trust me Ghost W knows she can snap her fingers and you will come running That's why you show her that you will deal with this and not in a I don't care manner but in a respectful neighbourly manner If W wants meditation then go to mediation and listen , put your thoughts toward and see what happens
There is no step by step guide but acceptance is key here. You see the fake it until you make line a lot and it's true.
My W calls me daily and texts , sometimes I would love to reach out to her and help and I will sometimes help but to a point and if I offer and it's declined then I will never push it because before BD I would have. My point is it's not easy and if it becomes easy then you are truly detached To my W and all our friends and family I'm detached , I treat well like a good neighbour and will offer support and advice when asked but never step over the neighbour line and let W get on with her life
It's tough for us all G but we have to accept the reality of their choices. WAS don't change their minds quickly if ever and that's the reality
Become a man only a fool would leave , become the best dad that's humanly possible and choose to live a life for you The gift your W is giving you is time, time for G to be G You will look back at this time and you want to look back and say you became better for this experience whatever happens with you and W
At the moment you are lost so pick a path , IMHO you need to be out of the house because being there is not making your sitch any better and actually making it worse.
Let go of W , it's heartbreaking but what choice do you have ? She's done and bolting for the door , imagine how she views a man that's trying to stop her ? Now imagine she sees a man who is intent on being there for the kids and a man who is dealing with this cr@p in a strong , mature way , standing up for himself in a respectful way
Which guy would you prefer to be ? G if W changed her mind in the morning and you took her back the fear of this happening again would be worse than now Get to a place where G is confident with himself whatever happens in an R will be able to be dealt with
This is very easy for me to post and I fully appreciate that but choose to start the journey and that's a huge step. The future is unknown and there are plenty of success stories on here but a lot of them happen when the LBS lets go G needs to let go
