If you haven't paid for this apartment yet then don't. Take the leadership role in your house. Your wife is hugely disrespecting you. Be kind, be fair, but be stern. You're the king of the castle, she's your queen. Talk it out with her and work on what you need to work on both individually and together but there will be no apartments purchased for anyone and if there is an OM then he has to go, and pronto.
