Doing better....Oh wait

[JGuy]

OTW, I admire how you still haven't lost hope. How to have hope but not have any expectations? I wonder what is the difference between hope and expectation exactly?

I have had heavy periods of disillusionment about my W over the past month, ever since I realized that for my own self-respect I had to let go and distance myself emotionally. Now I am seeing all these things about my W that make me seriously doubt whether I really want her back at all. This ambivalence has made it easier for me to not have expectations, but it also causes me to lose hope. It must be nice to feel certain that you want your W back. The uncertainty is like a dark cloud that chases me.