I know i can be considered crazy and grasping at any hope but things are different.
She is answering the phone when i call for the kids. telling me good bye when they are all on the car phone together I forwarded her d7 password for iPod, she responded with a thank you. I explained what was going on and she replied again about what she would try. I just replied with ok.
I called to talk to the kids and she had one in the bath. Typically she would text back " baths", but she answered and talked to me for few minutes. I ended the call telling her to have kids call after both were out of bath.
I so want to text about anything right now. I will not but I am really spinning thinking why things are different right now.
time to wait for her to make the next move i guess
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Thorton Exactly what I am thinking. Weird thing I noticed is that I am still planning things for myself and looking at things as trying to move forward.
The old me would be over pursuing and prob cause damage!
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Otw, I think you are doing well. Observe with detachment. Keep moving forward. I am starting to believe that no matter what happens we will be DB'ing forever, it becomes a thought process.
OTW, I admire how you still haven't lost hope. How to have hope but not have any expectations? I wonder what is the difference between hope and expectation exactly?
I have had heavy periods of disillusionment about my W over the past month, ever since I realized that for my own self-respect I had to let go and distance myself emotionally. Now I am seeing all these things about my W that make me seriously doubt whether I really want her back at all. This ambivalence has made it easier for me to not have expectations, but it also causes me to lose hope. It must be nice to feel certain that you want your W back. The uncertainty is like a dark cloud that chases me.
Me: 39 W: 36 M: 8 yrs T: 10 yrs S: 7 W started coming out with the truth: 9/26/15 W finished coming out with the truth: 11/12/15 W started sleeping in guest BR: 11/13/2015
Jguy I have had the moments when I thought all was lost and wanted to give up. I am sure there will be more of those to come.
I alos see things in the way she is now and wonder why in th world do i want her still.
Those are all common for all of us.
Read on the stockdale paradox. very interesting. I basically talks about having hope but not ignoring the current situation for what it is. You can just sit around and be optimistic without addressing reality.
I have also noticed through this that i just go through phases of good times and bad.
Oddly enough, i just got off the phone with the kids on the way to school while she is in the car and she was doing a lot of talking. It felt good. I made sure to focus on talking to the kids, but did acknowledge her as well.
While this felt good, now the kids are with me for a few days and my mind normally races when she is not with them as to what she is doing and who she is with etc...
Something i am trying very hard to let go of.
I do really believe as crappy as are situations are, that we were given this challenge to make us into something better.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
This i a position i'm finding myself in at the moment. I don't know who the person wanting to D me is. She is nothing like my W. I want my W back. it was only a few weeks ago we had a great christmas and it was like she was back. I do not talk to my W at all. it is now so petty she will do the washing up but leave a teaspoon if i've used it. I can't find a way past the hostility. Jguy there is something inside me that still gives me prickles of hope but it is so hard not to let it manifest. otw when I start to think of what W is doing, I stop and make lists...food I need to get for my boys, things to go visit etc.
me45,W43 S9,S5 T15yrs M10yrs BD 4/07/15 W wants D 4/07/15 W filed 8/05/15 D petition arrived 21/12/15 Merry xmas, W,S5 S9 moved out 5/2/16
Keefa good plan on the mind racing. I think the recent thing is I am catching glimpses of a W that i live. She hasn't seemed self absorbed as much, but that could be anything. I am also well aware that she may be acting different because of something else in her life going the way she wants and have nothing to do with me or anything.
All i can do is see what happens.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Ok so i am ready to get yelled at and such but I have a question.
It won't be until another week and I may run this past DB coach as well first but.
I have been contemplating asking w if she wanted to do something. Maybe not alone but when I have kids, invite her to dinner with us or something.
I have also contemplated asking one of her friends if they thought I should ever ask her to do something.
I know. I know.
Things seem different lately.
The friend thing is weird because while they are her friends they also do things with me and kids. They tell me how awesome I am and can't believe she wanted this.
Go ahead. Lay it on me!
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
