[BrightFuture]

HaWho, mleigh, Georgia, Job, thank you so much for your kind words and for the hugs! I did lift my mood, knowing that there are people who care and support me. It did made me cry, but in a good way .

You are all right, I am not ready to date. I know that there a lot of people who date in their 40th, 50th, even 60th and beyond. It just worries me that after 3 ½ years post BD I’m still not ready for another R. And… I am not getting any younger…

Job, I was reading and re-reading your advice about my GF, trying to get this into my head. Well, guess what I did yesterday... She called me. I was in a much better place than on Sunday, plus I had a couple of glasses of wine. So we talked… I didn’t bring up my stuff, but I listened to her… She did need to talk to me… I think I’m one of a few friends who are always sympathetic to her, listen to her and support her. I just felt like I wanted to support her… again. She went through a lot, an abusive H, a divorce, a breast cancer and mastectomy, her daughter’s continuing relapses of Crohn’s disease... It doesn’t excuse her from judging me though. I think I’m ready to tell her next time that I don’t feel supported for my cause.

Job, I hope that I will develop a tougher skin. I’m sure you are talking from experience. I just can’t wait for this time to arrive.

So, I thought Sunday was tough for me. I didn’t know what waited for me on Monday. On Sunday night we had some fierce rains (coming sideways) and crazy winds. My house was shaking during some of the wind gusts. I thought I heard a noise of breaking tile outside, but thought that it was something else. I came out on Monday morning and sure enough… there were pieces of tile on my driveway. I looked up and there were a few tiles missing from the edge of the top roof, meaning they crashed on the lower roof over the garage. Now, these are concrete tiles that are supposed to be nailed to the roof. The winds were so strong that they lifted up a few of these tiles. I found a piece of one of them with the long nail still attached to it. Wow, who knew...

I spent all Monday morning looking for the places where I could buy more tiles. The brand I have is from the company that is no longer in business. I have a few spare tiles in my garage, but I didn’t know how many were broken on the roof until this morning, when I actually walked around the house and took a closer look. I was finally able to find a tile place in town where they can match my tiles with another brand. I have a guy coming tomorrow to give me an estimate on what needs to be done. I hope it is not going to cost me a fortune.

So, I was thinking that if I would have a H, it would not be so difficult to replace a few tiles. And, it would be H’s job to take care of the roof repair (even though at one time I did negotiate with a contractor and supervised the outside house painting and re-stucco job.) Oh well, I’m going to do what I have to do.