He loves me he loves me not

[Zues126]

Julie, I have no doubt that you could use your anger to shield yourself from any grief and easily move on from H.

What's not as clear is whether you if you replaced your husband and your marriage with another relationship down the road whether you would be able to navigate through the stormy seasons. Or whether you'd be able to open up again given the pain you've felt. I talked about some of this on my new thread.

You know you're one of my favorite posters. Something about your battle is very important to me. Since your first thread, what was it, 'burning up with anger' or something, you've been really angry. Like scary angry. Women sometimes say men get scary when they get out of control angry. But men have a saying about a scorned woman. It's scary on both sides.

Nothing wrong with those feelings, but I think they're telling you something. I think they're telling you you're in a tremendous amount of pain. And while we all go through pain, and I went through my own mini-universe of anger, yours stands out as a bit red hot even among these forums. That tells me that something is causing you more pain that most people on these forums have to deal with.

I agree these are just feelings and thoughts, and you should follow your beliefs and not act on them. But I also believe your anger is trying to tell you something. It's trying to tell you to do something about your hurt. And doing something isn't protecting yourself from H. It's taking care of some exposes nerves you have that are allowing his actions to trigger such a response.

Again, in my thread I wrote about some of the things that were hardest for me to accept. What about this makes you the most angry? What about this hurts you the most?

Somewhere in there there's a he11 of a 180. I'd love your M to work out, but personally I'd love even more for you to find peace in limbo.