REALLY trying to detach...but GALing regardless!#2

[Rain75]

I hear what you're saying. That's why we're all here. Okay, my sitch isn't going well but you and your W have flirtation and sweet moments. That has to count for a lot. And it has to make you feel better. I do think your expectations are high still (mine were too) so when you have a good interaction with her, you get sad after. Wishing things would hurry along. Again, we've all done that.

I do see that what you're doing is working. You stopped pleading and crying and she sees you out and about, and I'm sure she's heard of your meals out with friends. It makes her seek you out. So you just keep doing the same. She isn't being mean or vindictive or spiteful. She isn't rubbing things in your face. Trust me, those are positives.

[NYGal]

Thanks Rain. My friend J says in the absence of knowledge we make stuff up. I'm trying not to do that today. Like imagining them together on this snow day. If W is alone today she's probably missing me. If she's with ow, who knows. Patience. Patience. I'd better get back to my book or I will go stir crazy.

[Rain75]

Yes. Borrowing trouble as they say. MB must be sleeping. She's so lucky. Im beat. I can't wait to get back to a restful full night's sleep

[NYGal]

MB, when you wake up, no drive bys, ok? I drove by OW's house twice. No sign of her car, so I still don't know if it's really hers. I googled her and a voter registration came up at this address... Could be old for all I know.

Rain, I hope you sleep well tonight.

[- MB -]

From what I've seen from my own and other's experiences, it seems like it's pretty common for them to go back and forth. There have been several times I've been almost convinced my H and I had made it to piecing, but it seems every positive step forward is also accompanied by a freak out session that backs things up a little. We are still making forward progress...it's just slow.

Thanks Anna. But, did you go for MONTHS with only seeing H a couple of times? I mean, it's been a month again and I only saw him once about a week ago. During that 1 hr visit, he said "I don't think it's a good idea" when I said that he didn't seem glad that I was there. And, when I asked him if he wanted me to leave, he said "I think it would be best." But, then he also told me how great I looked and said that I "hypnotize" him when he's with me, that's why he doesn't want me there and doesn't want to look at me or hug me, etc. WTF? Could those signals be any more mixed? What the heck am I supposed to do with that??? If it were back and forth, that would be one thing, but he came back, then got rid of me again, and that was it. End of story.

[- MB -]

[quote=NYGal] And you are inspiring me to get back to and do more to better myself during this "gift" of time we have. Since it doesn't feel like a gift at all most days.

I'm glad you're feeling inspired! When you GAL, let me know what you decide to do. Maybe you'll give me some ideas! And, I agree, it definitely does NOT feel like a gift at all. Not at all!

[- MB -]

Yes. Borrowing trouble as they say. MB must be sleeping. She's so lucky. Im beat. I can't wait to get back to a restful full night's sleep

That right there just proves what NYGal was saying earlier. "In the absence of knowledge, we make stuff up." LOL. I am NOT lucky! I woke up around 4 with my boss calling asking for me to work. Didn't answer, but I listetned to the voicemail. Then, I noticed a text that she had sent earlier asking for help for tonight. I thought NO WAY! About that time, I saw another text come through saying that they were offering a $100 bonus for anyone that agreed to work tonight. I immediately picked up the phone and called. Guess where I am.....yep, I'm WORKING. I need the $ for tires so I can get one of the cars inspected/registered. Sigh...

MB, when you wake up, no drive bys, ok? I drove by OW's house twice. No sign of her car, so I still don't know if it's really hers. I googled her and a voter registration came up at this address... Could be old for all I know.

Yep, been awake. Working now. Did NOT drive by before I came to work. No idea if H was home or not. And, I'm still alive. NYGal, did you not read my message to you earlier? LOL. Don't make me come up there!

[Rain75]

Nice bonus plus the pay for the extra shift. sounds good. You'll have the tires in no time.

[NYGal]

I heard you, MB. I'll promise not to drive by if you promise not to drive by. I still don't know if it's her house... her car is never there, but surprisingly I'm not assuming it's at my house. That might be growth.
Sleep well, MB. I don't know where you live, but if you lived here, you'd need those tires pronto! Lots of snow.

[Rain75]

I heard you, MB. I'll promise not to drive by if you promise not to drive by. I still don't know if it's her house... her car is never there, but surprisingly I'm not assuming it's at my house. That might be growth.
Sleep well, MB. I don't know where you live, but if you lived here, you'd need those tires pronto! Lots of snow.

Sorry you got in trouble NYG. Wonka and everyone else is right though. Ugh. Humiliation if ow saw and reported back to W.

And I say that knowing how horrible it is. I did a lot of the same things during his PA. So many terrible, self esteem destroying things. And what did it do? Made them closer. Ugh.

Im proud of you though. For not contacting W this weekend. I know how hard that was.

Stay Strong NYG.