WAW - Detaching is the Hardest Thing

[isittoolate]

I'd be hesitant to mention the cocaine if you think it's likely it was a one off. Just keep your eyes open and keep your L informed.

My XW had a crazy year where she was off the rails. In the end she stabilized and things are going smoothly now. WW's go through a party faze like girls going off to college and sometimes go too far. Let her correct her behavior.

Still document and tell your L, and if IC/L think your children are in danger then act. But if it's just you not being sure, get IC/L and don't hit a button that could destroy careers and co-parenting relationships just to want validation that you are the 'good' one.

Exactly what I intend to do plus ask her directly to promise never to bring that stuff into the house with our children in it. Plus I want to make the point that I am disappointed that her so-called friends could give her the stuff in the first place knowing her extremely fragile and vulnerable state. Then I drop it never to mention again.

I like the idea of a list of things with the kids, and of no TV. That's a big challenge for kids, let me know how that goes

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The hard part is getting the kids off iPads and video games - they don't watch that much TV - the list is up to 57 now.

We have different views on dating. I understand the concept of not having as much time left to form a new relationship, to me that means you don't have time to waste on a rebound. I also don't think you're done because you're not divorced. DB road is a long one as you know. Your signature shows she walked 3 months ago...but this was also after a few years of her being back and forth. Maybe you're tired of this roller coaster. Frankly it seems like a year or two to walk the earth and get rid of that crap would do you good. If WAW came back and TRULY pulled herself together that would be cool, if not no big deal. But I think it would be good for you, and for the chance at your M.

But you already know that's how I feel. I respect your journey and certainly don't think less of you. You've been through the mill and your WW has left, filed, and had an affair, so there is no tie to her either.

Just a short correction - W has never had an affair she is a WAW - but I have to leave - she will buy me out of our mortgage as she earns a40% more than me. Zeus I respect your opinion as well and know that more pain is coming my way, serving full D papers, negioiating a financial settlement, dividing possessions, moving out, the first weekend without the kids, months of pain.