11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I won't contact her, Rain. I re-read the notes from my DB coach and she said NC works best in the early days. So I'm trying. I also think there's a point when an out of the blue communication might shake things up. But my timing tends not to be great. I promise, NC one day at a time.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Inpain, I have to confess I never finished it. I got stuck on the affair chapter and the last resort.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I've read it several times over, both times H left. Haven't read it since before Christmas though so maybe it's time to dust it off and have another look. Always seem to see something different each time.
Good plan. I'm still reading The Lost Art of Listening and I'm learning a lot.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Hello Inpain...glad to know you're in for our next ladies night which the lovely NYGal is hosting.
And NYGal....since this is the DR/DB BB so we should all promise to re-read it soon. I too went to the affair part of the book first before starting at the beginning But now in my new situation I think it will be good for me to read it. Like Inpain said it did for her maybe we will find new things.
I need to stop thinking about XF (though it is SO hard). I need me some 180s and GALing and goals in my life yo! LOL
And the holy grail: detachment.
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
The first step to healing a ruptured relationship is to understand the other person’s point of view.Try to figure out what that person might be feeling and then say it in a way that invites her to elaborate. Until you acknowledge the other person’s position, she is unlikely to be open to yours. She may listen, but she won’t hear.When you demonstrate a willingness to listen with a minimum of defensiveness, criticism, or impatience, you are giving the gift of understanding—and earning the right to have it reciprocated.from The Lost Art of Listening.
The waywards should read this too. Oh I guess I'm not detaching yet...!!!!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
The first step to healing a ruptured relationship is to understand the other person’s point of view.Try to figure out what that person might be feeling and then say it in a way that invites her to elaborate. Until you acknowledge the other person’s position, she is unlikely to be open to yours. She may listen, but she won’t hear.When you demonstrate a willingness to listen with a minimum of defensiveness, criticism, or impatience, you are giving the gift of understanding—and earning the right to have it reciprocated.from The Lost Art of Listening.
The waywards should read this too. Oh I guess I'm not detaching yet...!!!!
Ugh. You reading that book is making ME feel badly!
I have never been able to do this effectively. I can see his POV but I am overwhelmed by my feelings and all hell breaks loose.
