Finally got round to answering some of your questions Sandi.
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So, she spent the night with the OM, and went home the next morning as if nothing had happened? Maybe it's b/c I am just getting your side of the story, but it sounds as if you were the one that was pleading for her to stay, even though she had just committed adultery. Did she ask if she could say, or use her threat of leaving as her leverage? Has she ever done anything like this before now? Did she have a lot of sexual partners before getting M?
She came home just before I took the kids to school and daycare, I asked if she was planning to stay and if she was going to talk. She was still there when I got back and only said it was a mistake to see him and stay there but she was done with me. The daycare called and said our daughter was sick, we went to pick her up and I put her in the MBR bed to sleep. My W wanted to lie next to her and rest also but I said no to that, if she wanted to rest she could use the spare bed. She asked to stay in the house and move into the spare room. I said that was possible if she was willing to go back to counseling and work on repairing our marriage. I said if not, then I felt she needed to stay somewhere else for the time being. She evetually went to friends that afternoon.#
She has not done anything like this in our relationship but before me during university, she had a period of depression where she cheated on a boyfriend at the time. She was dealing with alot of things at that time but for me I see some similarities. She has told me, that she has used sex as a way of hurting herself.
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No problem rambling, but wow, have you ever seen her have similar behavior?
Not to this extent, when she has gone out with friends, she does go out to escape and until the last year has never had a cell phone. I only ever wanted to have an idea when she would be home and where she might be if I needed to get hold of her in case something happened with the kids. It has been a bone of contention for a number of years. She wants to be able to go where she wants when she wants and I am supposed to just be happy when she turns up home again. Maybe I have the wrong thoughts on this, but she always wants to know where I am going, when I'm going to be home and if i'm running late, will always call to see where I am no matter the time of day.
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Did this begin before things between her and OM began getting thicker?
It has been an ongoing thing this past year, but there had been an increase in contact with the OM as her father had more tests and she required them.
