I gotta tell you that the feelings are going to be there. You are going to keep questioning, wondering, wanting to inspect, etc. You're internal reactions are the norm for LBS's. However, don't let it stop you from doing what you need to do. If you need time away to take a breath, do it. Put on a PMA and announce it as something great you're going to do, and then break down somewhere for a little bit.
OM is out in the open. Your wife seems to be wanting to break from him. Withdrawal happens. My wife, even after beginning the real steps towards reconciliation, made contact with him. It hurt and made me question, but she NEVER saw anything but the calm, cool, confident me. You need to be the steady one that is strong for your family. Give her time and don't put pressure on her. Putting too much pressure is like crushing the little birdie in your palm. The only pressure you should place is on enforcing any boundaries you have put in place.
Fo.2s idea for Valentine's Day is great! You two are in a very fragile state, and trying to recreate previous V-Days is going to do nothing but remind you what is missing. Remove the focus from you and W and make it a family event about the kids.
M: 8.5 T:10 Me:37 W:34 S:6
Retrouvaille and W moves back- 7/31/15 Piecing - 7/4/15 to present
You are doing great, ya know.