REALLY trying to detach...but GALing regardless!#2

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I'm not going to check up on her; I just want to know what part of town she's in. Why? I don't know. I guess so I'm better prepared when I'm in that part of town.

NYGal, I'm just sitting shaking my head....
Not going to check up on her? Yes you are! So you'll be better prepared? You want to know because you're curious. You want to know what it is that she does. You want to know what she's doing that is so attractive to your W. I know because I feel the same way about H's ow.

No, of course not. No one wants confirmation that they are together. You want confirmation that they are NOT TOGETHER. Just be really careful. Make sure you can handle it if you were to see W's car there. It's amazing how badly it hurts when you see the proof staring you right in the face like that. When I saw her car there, I felt like I had just stabbed my own heart and turned the knife just to make it hurt more.

[quote=NYGal]since W said a week ago she "needs more time alone," and that she misses me and regrets what she's done. That conversation (and I never did list all the details) did give me hope. It sounded like reconciliation is possible in the future. I don't know how to handle that, if it happens.

That does sound great. The only problem is that her moods and emotions are changing so fast right now that she's confused and doesn't know which way is up. Just proceed cautiously. Been there, done that. It didn't work out well for me. In fact, it felt like I was right back at the origional BD when he pulled that rug out from under me again. I promise you don't want that kind of pain again. You don't realize how much progress you've made until it's taken away from you and you have to start all over. Just be careful.

When the WASs reach out, I don't know at what point we stop NC and show them the path home? I'm not anywhere near there at this point. Just still hoping. Perhaps I'm being delusional, but it keeps me a bit happier.

I don't have an answer for this one. I wish I did, but I really don't. As soon as my H had second thoughts, I jumped right back in. He didn't even have to work for it. I don't know how you're supposed to tell if they're "temp checking." And, how do you know when to believe them instead of "don't believe anything they say and only 1/2 of what they do??
If you find the answer, share it with me please.