He loves me he loves me not

[JulieH]

Just came back from ultimate GAL weekend. It was fun socializing with friends. While I talked about husband situations, I wasn't emotionally consumed with it while away. Really I was just having fun.

I need to now get back into a routine. I have a lot of doubts about husband and I'm feeling a bit depressed.

1. A common thought is that "he doesn't want this bad enough" or he would be doing more.

2. Another thought is that he left us for my parents to take care of. He never offered to give money. I always had to ask. He needed to be taken to court to pay child support. And then he was mad at me to have done that without asking first, despite the fact that I asked him twice and he said he could not afford it. (He earns 3 figures and is living free with mom) And despite the fact that he told me he did not want to reconcile and had just come back from a nice long vacation. What does this say about his CHARACTER? He ability to not accept any blame? This really bothers me and it's hard for me to come to tems with. I make excuses for him leaving us (he was having health issues, under stress, ) and that's hard to do but how do I justify him placing this financial and logistical burden on my parents.

The right thing for him to do would have been to set us up in an apartment.

I am ashamed for him and have little respect for him as a man because of this.

3. If he was capable of doing this once, he is capable of doing it again. I see many people coming back to these boards after DBing in past. Character is character no? Why go back with a known offender?

4. I am having a hard time seeing good parts of our relationship. I Don't remember having fun with him. I only remember him acting selfishly. (I know this is remaking history so I try not to focus on this much)