Still crazy after all these years

[job]

Mirepoi,
May I ask you a question? Why didn't you post over in the MLC Forum? It sounds like what is happening in your situation is the fallout of reconciling w/a MLCer. It's been a while since you left the Forum and I sense from your posting that things didn't change w/your h or your marriage fell back into old habits.

Did your h finish up his crisis or did he snap out of it because of something going on w/you and his family? If that is the case, then he may very well go back into crisis again. Did you reconcile too quickly? Both of you are entirely different people now and if he did complete his crisis, he may not be the same person that he once was and you probably aren't either. Expectations have a way of disappointing us.

I do understand the "pity", not love, feeling for him. He doesn't see what is going on around him, nor has he done the necessary work to grow up. Living w/mom won't help him either because there is someone there still to take care of him.

Divorce is a very serious decision and one you need to think about. Ask yourself this...can I continue as I have been for the next 5, 10 or 20 years w/this man? Do you want to continue being his "mother"? If you can honestly say no to these questions, then you will need sit quietly for a bit and think about how you would go about living your life as a single woman and not have him in your life. Don't make any decisions until you have had time to think about them.

I remember well your diet of coffee, cigarettes and chocolate. You had a very difficult time dealing w/his MLC for a while. Yes, you spent many, many hours over on the MLC Forum and I'm glad that it helped you to put things into print and have posters there to assist you.

For now, you need to focus on you, your life and your finances. BTW, I'm not surprised that you are questioning whether to stay w/him or not. Reconciling w/someone either in crisis or who has recovered is difficult and time consuming and it will try the patience of "JOB". Some will make it and others will opt to call it quits. If you opt to call it quits, just remember, you gave it your best shot and you are not a failure.

As for your h, he needs time and space to grow up...but the question still hangs in the balance...will he?

I'll pop back around to check on you later.