Remind me why you were avoiding Mr W's calls last week?
I agree with Merrick (I think it was) who mentioned retrouvaille. Neither my dh nor I ever truly shared our honest feelings with each other about much of anything important until our retrouvaille weekend. It was *profoundly* moving for both of us -- completely draining emotionally, yet very uplifting at the same time. You really are forced to confront your deepest feelings about yourself and your marriage -- in a constructive way. Without retrouvaille, I truly believe that dh and I would be well on our way to a D right now, with or without DB efforts. We just had no idea how to go about communicating honestly and openly.
