surrealism is not my style

[ciluzen]

Cil

Just popping by to check in. I have been caught up in my own navel gazing so sorry to disappear.

Hi, JB! Thanks for visiting...I've missed you! We all need to navel-gaze, once in awhile.

H needs to see your behaviour as the key to the divorce right now. Mr Ex said the same thing when he ended our relationship, he stated "there is something about me that makes you really unhappy". He was right in some ways. I was frustrated as, by him making unilateral decisions about our relationship. Ironic huh!

Extremely ironic. I was only upset at H AFTER he started to pull away and paid more attention to Bubbles than me. But I can't think of anything I didn't like about him before that...and H says I hadn't liked him in years (last talk it was 20 years...it keeps growing). He has yet to tell me what about me I would need to change, even though he keeps saying "do you want a list?" Last R talk I said yes. He complained that I put kale in things. When I told him I never heard him say he didn't like it, he said that that would be mean. Note to self, no kale.

H behaviour is a series of mixed signals and extreme actions. He has no idea want her wants. Just because the papers were served and file, means little. It really is just another stage of this DBing process.

I see this. I have taken a few deep breaths and am plunging ahead again.
I am working on finding a lawyer this week.
H just left a few minutes ago after surprising me with a call to see if I was home. He wanted to pick up his mail and was surprised there was so much. Mentioned that maybe he should call some of the places to change his address. I said it won't be delivered here pretty soon anyway...it didn't even phase him. He just said, "true".
He was his happy, charming self and seemed in a bit of a hurry. But he wanted to throw some small talk about his day in. I was upbeat but vague. Made eye contact but looked busy. I did ok.

Step back, as you say with your trip as best you can and get out of H drama. It will suck you in like a black hole. Remember you have a plan and you were rocking it. Go back to what you know how to do. You know how to be amazing Cil.

Thanks, JB. I need to try.

Personally I think you have really confused him by all the changes and his head is spinning. Let him spin, it will stop. Slow the process down if you get any opportunities. Ask for time to think, consider, ponder without appearing to be stalling the process. Ask for his patience while you get your head around things.

Some other more experienced DBer's would be better to advise, but get some legal advice separate for yourself. Cover your bases in case mediation turns pear shaped.

Working on it.

Hang in there Cil. You have been a a great DBer, go back to what you know.

Trying to go dark. Tonight I was surprised, but fine. Not to much cycling of emotions. I'm ok.

I keeping popping by. Lots of love Cil

Jellyxxx