I would probably get more replies if I acted desperate and wanted ways to win my husband back, huh? The truth of the matter is this.... I did all of that several years ago. I used to cry myself to sleep and live on a diet of coffee and cigarettes while he was in MLC land. I used to snoop and have anxiety attacks just thinking about him and the OW.I used to analyze his every word or move and there are pages and pages of my posts on this forum. I spent hours on here, and it really did help me. But now, I am emotionally spent. Divorce-busting taught me how to get a life. I don't want to deal with any more BS. I want him to grow up, but I don't think he is capable of doing so. I am trying to figure out how I feel and the only word that keeps coming to mind is pity, not love. I honestly don't know why I haven't filed for divorce after 30 years of marriage. That's another thing I am trying to figure out.
