Myrrh--Don't worry! I don't have any resentment expressing my more subdued side for him. It's actually a really great way for me to keep the crazymaker in check.
Pam--A bow on the butt? That highlights a part of my body that is pretty obvious, but I'll go for it in the fugly sense. How about an empire waste to make it shapeless?
You are so right about having to change to accommodate the needs of others. The issue about not devoting time to him was made (no hammered) by him in MC last summer. Believe me, I was listening to every word.
I have made numerous attempts to reassure him that I would find a way to compromise. In fact, since he brought this subject up in MC, when he has been over eating dinner with us, I've either let the phone go to voicemail or told the friend I was in the middle of something and would return the call at a mutually agreeable time.
I am also computer addicted. I am MORE than willing to give up the addiction for more tangible affirmation. This is not a deal breaker at all--in fact, I'd like nothing more than to turn it off at home and get what I crave from him.
Funny thing, though. When told him I would honor his requests, he moved the bar on me--telling me he still didn't want my company. I know I've mentioned here more than a few times that it all came down to dating each other again... something MC highly encouraged but Mr. W. refused to do.
Face it, this guy really doesn't want to be with me. At least for the past few years and right now. If he did, he could have shown a glimpse of that by asking us to go to dinner to celebrate my birthday... that would have been easy to do and I would have jumped at the chance.
And seen it as a baby step in good faith.
Pam, I am still willing to seek to understand what he really wants and needs from me. So far, the path has only led to dead ends... every time I see his side of things and agree to honor the request, he changes positions on me.
So while this isn't really a game of the marital limbo, I wonder if his complaints about me and our life are merely a smokescreen for the truth? That he really wants to be single but doesn't want to work to get there?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
