Betsey- Hope you understand that I never would want you to feel as though you have to explain yourself! Not my intention at all.
In true Betsey fashion, you have been very forthcoming. I really need to take time to mull it all over. As I am going to be late for work, I'll do that later!
One thing did jump out at me:
Quote: For the few years prior to his exit, Mr. W. used to get pissed when I'd return a call to a friend or devote a half hour to writing a letter... I found this perturbing, because he was usually outside sulking with his beer and playing with his moustache. Avoiding me. So why did it piss him off that I was doing something important to me?
This, Betsey, was the biggest part of the downfall of my good pal, the dentist. His W was constantly doing something- almost always for someone else though. He felt totally left out. And yes, it included simply making phone calls when he was home. He considered that "his" time. My H is the same way. My sis and I talk daily. It irritates him to no end if he comes in from work and I am on the phone. He wants (needs) my atention then. The old me thought, "Who is HE to dictate my phone time?" The new me? "He needs this time with me." I do my calling to my sis when he isn't around, and I stick to that rule now. ANd, I go on this BB when he is not here. The second he is here, it is time for him. It still allows me lots of time. Yes, I know you work more, so this is trickier for you. I just couldn't help but seeing that you're thinking, "He's off on his own anyway! Why can't I be on the phone/letter writing?" Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Was he always sulking, so you went ahead and did this, or did he begin the sulking as resignation to the fact that you were going to do it anyway? I see a guy, based on your other observations about him liking the Donna Reed stay at home mom, that wants your company, and is hurt when he's not the focus. No, you can't and shouldn't give up your life, and your job. Is there a way around this?
Hell, I don't know. Like I said, it was easy for me. And I chose that route. What is reasonable for Betsey?
P.S. Mer wants a big fat bow on the butt of the dress. Any other requests????
