Betsey- No need to miss us! We're always here for you. I have to admit, I do miss Meredith's presence here. A LOT. And, I'm quite sure I'm not the only one.
Bets, I have been thinking way too hard about your whole sitch lately. I said that you sounded "centered," and I was really feeling that. But, I have to admit, I wonder if there's still too much confusion at play. I know you don't want Mr. W back the way he is. No one blames you. And I know you want an end to this limbo. Of course you do. I worried when I read how much you were passing off his phone calls- to the point that he assumed you weren't talking to him. I worried when you seemed to be at peace with this. There's a fine line, of course, as you can't be a sniveling wreck about it, as that won't change things a bit. BUT, I wondered over the lack of enthusiasm over the pursuit. I hope you don't mind my ramblings here. I will be the first to concede that you have so much more common sense than I ever will. I just like to put things on the table.
And, I hope this comes out right- (If you're offended, it didn't!) I see that you get lots of affirmation on this BB. Lots is an understatement. You are the queen, with many faithful DBers bowing at your feet. I wonder how this affects your r with Mr. W? He cannot compete with what you get here. I wonder how much that plays into how little his comments (like about your weight loss) begin to mean to you?
Bets, I'm not insinuating ANYTHING here. SO, please, don't jump to that conclusion.
Far be it from me to not enjoy a little penis talk every now and again! It's not that...it really isn't. It is more the affirmation question...
I wonder how much more of yourself you are here? When was the last time Mr. W saw that side of you? I know you were Bob Barkering him, but, when has he really seen you with your guard down, like you are here? Does it ever cross your mind that we all seem to "get you" so much more? If so, I am just offering the gentle reminder that we are also seeing the "real" you. The real you NOW. It is going to take more time for Mr. W to let go of the old you and embrace this one.
As you are well aware, Mer and I write just about daily. Her letters make me laugh so hard at times. I look forward to every one of them. The thought did occur to me that I once felt this way over a certain someone else. I liked being funny, I liked being smart. Was it a void that I just needed filled? Could I have avoided a lot of heartache if I had found you and Mer first?
I do know that every ounce of affirmation from Meredith (and you) means the world to me. But, every crumb from H means the same. It was more than I was getting for a while, and heck, eventually all those crumbs will come together to form one huge cake! (renewal of vows cake?) You still in for one fugly (I hope you know this word- if not, it is 2 words put together!) bridesmaid dress???
I admit, this post is scattered. As are my thoughts. But, as one of those faithful followers, I am certain if anyone can make sense of it, you will!!!
