Hi Rain, I think your position on this is fair and reasonable and you were quite right to clearly set that boundary. Your XF wants to come back and sweep everything under the rug and you have been through too much pain to do that. Yes, you could have stated those boundaries more calmly, but it's a tough situation and we all learn for next time.
If someone is not yet married and there has been adultery, I would sometimes think - well just be glad you discovered this before marrying the guy/gal and walk away. But you guys are significantly entwined with a family together, so I wouldn't advocate doing that. I would give yourself some time to heal from this exchange and keep those boundaries cast iron strong - truly you don't want him back on those terms. I think a cheater needs to have been shaken to their very core at the potential loss of you, and be 'willing to do whatever it takes' to repair things. He's just not in that place right now.
Take care & glad to see so many posters offering support xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
