Well.....I believe I am still DBing. I am moving on with my life. I'm not pursuing. I'm GALing. I'm not reaching out to her or engaging in these conversations. I only talk with her about the kids and finances. I continue to detach.
She is not accustom to not having her way. I don't think she's ever been rejected or ignored. And she has bullied me around for years. I am no longer being bullied, manipulated or giving into her demands. I'm not allowing her to trap me into verbal fights.
Basically I'm ignoring her and she is lashing out.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
What more could I do. I accepted and apologized for my mistakes and for my part of why the M failed. What could I do that wouldn't be pursuing?
I don't know that I should do anything until she begins to apologize or even acknowledge her A's were wrong.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Maybe you might be able to get another opportunity if you tried to calm some things with her.
Maybe a quick response validating her her about her junk she threw at you, not accepting it as ok or anything but just to make sure she knows what she says about you is not true.
"I here what you are saying and saw, that must be difficult. However, I am not in any relationship nor am i looking for one."
leave it like that, maybe she will come back calmer and maybe even apologize. If that works then maybe open the door to bring up what she told you in november about her fantasy about living separate and then dating and working through counseling.
I know this fantasy seems strange and you rejected it, but i am thinking about it. Is there a better way to start over? This could let you both work through things and both of you take the needed steps. I am not saying you just commit to it, but you will be able to see if she is actually willing to do the work and own up to her end of things as well as yourself. thoughts?
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
I think she is still temp checking. She has no proof or reason to believe I would be in another relationship. She is projecting her wrongs on me.....maybe to make herself feel better.
I don't think she is at the bottom yet. She is still rarely apologizing. The last time she blew up she told me she knew it was wrong and she apologized to the kids but she didn't apologize to me for the hurtful things she said. She still doesn't take full responsibility for her words or actions. I don't know if I yet have the leverage to recommend she seeks professional help and to learn the steps of reconciliation.
She may even believe she was reaching out to me again. However, she reaches out to me with attacks. I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship like that again. She is no where near as healthy as she thinks she is and I'm not getting back into that relationship.
I feel God is again telling "Just wait"
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
