Many wayward wives want the H to be like their BFF. I think with the exception of a handful of WW's, they will say something about wanting to remain best friends. And, I have seen several cases over the years where the WW will taunt the H with physical affection. She operates purely on emotions, and whatever emotion she's feeling at that particular moment is how she's going to behave. If you try to analyze it and make it come out to some logical explaination.....you will go bonkers, b/c there is nothing logic about the WW's thought system.
This is not the girl you married! That girl is gone and you have some looney-tune that's replaced her. So, it is very important for your own sanity that you have a plan and know your boundaries. You operate from your belief system, your values and principles. If you allow your emotions to rule, you will regret it. Not caving to emotions will be one of the hardest things you have probably had to do.
With that in mind, you can set goals as to how you want to improve yourself as a man and a father. Decide what steps you can do to accomplish that growth.
Develope a plan of action for you to implement during this difficult time with your W.
Think about your personal boundaries and how you would enforce them if they were dishonored.
Get a calendar that's just for you. Work that calendar! By that, I mean to find all kind of things to do to get a life every week. This is GAL for your mental health's sake, it's not for your W. Every LBS who reported to the board what was the best thing they did to get through it, has said to really GAL. The self-confidence comes back, and you become a happier individual, and a more interesting man. Plus, it allows great opportunities for a little mystery. Therefore, see what's going on in your community/town. Look at the monthly holiday, b/c usually there will be something centered around that holiday theme. Plan to be busy on weekends, b/c that's the time many LBH'S find difficult for them. Mix it up and do various activities. Resume old hobbies, get together with old friends, etc.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
