It's funny how you and everyone else sees me. When I just can't. I'm not sure if I've been beaten down by his actions so badly that all I see is an umployed single mother that has some weight to lose and is apparently not worthy of even a cheaters love. Or if it's simply low self esteem. Either way I don't see it in or of myself right now.
I just want to get back to who I was and rock the single mother bit (ugh). I had a full time job. Took courses to learn new things...juggled a few blogs...wrote a couple of non fiction books. Before him and with him before his A (our A?) I used to workout daily. Eat healthy. Had tons of friends. Went to church. Hosted get togethers for no reason. Tried new things. And let people go when they were toxic to me.
And I do know that I can get all of that back. Because I can only control myself.
And I'm glad that I said what I said. Just not how I went about it. The crying and cursing.
And I haven't mentioned other men because I am not fit to date. Plus I still love "the Genius". I don't want to hurt anyone else.
