asambandha

[ARose]

Mu, wishing you some peace today! Your W's comment about the emergency contact must have hurt.

Mu, the future will arrive. I promise you, just keep inching forward on your own journey. Being in limbo is so extremely difficult. Keep your eyes on what makes you happy.

[dday]

Yes mu! Enjoy now. Future is unwritten, but you can't exist in the future. Hope all is well!

[roist]

I have read that too about being positive you need to stay in the present. I personally am not brought down by the future or the past. I have a problem with the present.

Regardless I have done a lot of research into pm a and am trying stuff.

Yes there will always be a future to come. But a happy future is on the way and it will determine your future futures! What you do now will influence you future. That is where we need to concentrate.

Don't worry about your w's latest antic. It really smells of provocation to me. It is not important IMO.

The important part of what you wrote is your awareness of how you are. Work on that. Being quiet, sullen and down is not attractive.Achieve happiness and a real pma despite your situation is a true challenge but it can be done and needs to be done. First it will be better for you plus the happier you are the better your chances with W

[JellyB]

Hey Mutatio

I just wanted to stop by and offer some love, to the gorgeous man that you are. I would love to wrap you up in a big bear hug. Let you feel the warm embrace of someone who thinks you are just the bees knees .

The precious present Mutatio, you have everything you ever wanted right now. There is no battle to get to the future. Have some peace. You are everything you need to be right now. You loved Mutatio. Very much so.

From my heart to yours.

((((Mutatio))))))

Much love Jelly xxx

[PigPen]

Amen to the present Mu. It's all any of us truly have. I'm personally playing with the idea that if we can fall in love with simply breathing, everything else in life is a bonus. The present moment is delicious.

Sorry to hear your W is still playing her games with you. At some point I think we all get to see the game they're playing and the fear and hurt that lies underneath it. Stay positive my friend, it's a brand new month, one brimming with possibilities. You may not be your W's emergency contact, but you are still the man you are forging yourself into. Emergency contacts are temporary, the other is for life.

Peace to you as well, the ability to create it and display it in the midst of turmoil is the greatest human endeavor, but one we can all achieve. Men have been in far worse situations than ours and kept their attitudes positive.

Forge on Mu! Sending you a big man hug from the road.

PP

[mutatio]

Thank you lovely Fo, we will make it, emotionally bruised but intact.

roiste, I am in good spirits today, there seems to be a high and low emotional tide. The low's don't last as long and are not as deep as they were. You seem to be struggling now dear friend, be well and know you are loved, keep posting brother.

My sweet Jelly, I am so glad you are in my life. I would love a hug from you, my soul is yearning for intimacy. I got my haircut the other day and I loved her touching me. It felt so good to be touched. I have the dentist in 2 weeks, I can't wait!

PP, thank you for stopping by, I have missed you. Accepting reality makes it easier. I am done deluding myself with my wife changing her mind about me. I accept the path I am on and the destination I am headed towards. PP, I am at peace with it.

I am moving forward with the expectation that I am moving in two years. I will finish work around the house. Sell my hobby cars and prepare for a split. I want to stay together but she is so distant I don't see how she could ever change her mind. She's done, well I'll show her what done looks like. I will disappear

[roist]

It probably does come across that way but I am not struggling.Or at least I don't feel that I am. But thanks for your concern. I am however posting details so that others could offer insights I may miss. Plus the vets can read better than us. I also seek female viewpoints if any of your fan club care to read my posts over the weekend

I think you are wise to prepare for your future. And it is great to get excited about it. But be careful. Do you really want to sell those cars? You are in your situation and hence have all the info so your decisions are better than our observations.I say careful as sometimes we can cause a self full filling philosophy.

I hope your plans are for YOU and not to show her.

My only advice to you is to concentrate on your attitude, interactions, pma etc . And detaching. One day soon her little tricks will have no affect on you.

I am just curious about one thing. How far are you potentially moving and what are your thoughts on your kids then?

[dday]

Mu, detachment is essential for your mental health. It doesn't mean you don't care. Just that you know you can't control and aren't responsible for her actions. Be loving and respectful and live.

Remember, eat life! Accept it for what it is, even when it's not what we want. And it is only this way now. May be completely different next week or next month.

You're a great man. Keep being great, and if she wakes up all the better!

[mutatio]

Hey guys, thanks for stopping by. I went to IC today. It felt good to talk. I will continue to plan for one possible future while I live in the here and now. Roiste, I'll move from the East Coast to the Rockies. I will miss my kids, they can live with me or visit as long as they want. They will be adults with their own lives. I will miss them. I will miss my wife. Not all stories have happy endings.

My negative feelings and frustration were beginning to affect my mood at home. I want to be careful to not let these negative emotions affect my behavior. I am better then that. I will strive to remain positive and pleasant. It will not be easy. Her actions hurt me sometimes but I can do this. It is very important to me to have my wife choose to divorce me because she decides she wants it and not divorce me because of my behaviors. I will now make a conscience effort to be positive and validating when ever I conversing with her.

Be well, Be strong

[roist]

Sounds drastic and exciting all at once. Don't underestimate your role to your kids in early adulthood.But with technology these days distance does not have to feel far away.follow your dream. I'll put it on my to-visit places.

I read something this morning about WAS. They feel hopeless and only see one solution.TThey do and say stuff to their spouses both to convince them both thatTHAT is the solution and also to not give false hope. But deep down many want to have hope and would prefer to save their M but don't think it can be. This is why it is important that we the lbs changes and that we remain positive. Not letting the current situation bring us down is a huge part in that. Either way it can only do us good to not be down or gloomy.SShow our best side. Please share how you specifically are doing that.

Best wishes