Rednail, yes, drinking is a part of it, my H turned into a heavy drinker after BD and was drunk maybe 1-2X per year before that.
I think your statement to him about not being touched is a good one. The example you gave where you walked away from him was also a good example of your enforcing the boundary. It is kind of hard to come up with "consequences" because you will have to be the one to enforce it, but walking away is something you could always do. Do not encourage it at all.
As far as being in the house unexpectedly. That is a little trickier, because it is still his house too. I think you should ask to arrange visits, but not sure how you could enforce this one. I hope someone else has some better ideas.
You really are doing well btw. I think you've caught on really quickly and I hope that saves you some of the pain that some of us (me) experienced by making so many mistakes in the beginning. Hang in there and keep posting.
