It's all blowing up

[trumpet]

rich4j,

My decision to tell D14, S12, and D7 that mom was divorcing dad was tough, but I made a choice to show that I was still wanting to see the family together. I also said I loved W, W loved them, I loved them, and it wasn't their fault. Also, to love the sinner, not the sin.

W's narrative would have been that I had given her 15 years of crap, therefore it was OK to cheat. Not a great witness for Christ from a Christian who holds herself to very high standards.I truly don't know what she would have said in front of the kids, but it would have been along the lines that we both wanted a D, which just isn't true.

I don't know if you're Christian, or what you feel on divorce, but it feels like you don't have your feet really stable underneath you. You need to tell them from a position of strength, and from a viewpoint that isn't in the middle of a hurt locker.

No sense in discussing anything until you're served - rich, did you get served yet?

Also - I never thought of packing the Marriage in, until things had been bad for about a month. Once I found the EA, and the W was ready to D, after grieving a lot, I found myself actually thinking 'would life be better without her?'. I got to the point that yes, it would be, but I still believe in marriage, and in having one wife for life. So, I come back to that all the time, and won't compromise. If my wife does D me, I will have to move on. I won't agree with it, but that is the sitch I'm in. Keep that in mind.