MB, I took the time to read most of your threads. Just getting caught up. You've been through an awful lot. I have no words at the moment, but I'll try to keep reading and maybe I can chip something in. If not know that I'm in your corner.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
I'm thinking about you and hope you've bounced back a little
I haven't seen my wife for a month now, and I miss her and sometimes tempted to call or drop in to her new place. The only thing holding me back is that I don't want to pursue or appear needy. The only advise I can offer that helps would be to stop driving past his house as it will only upset you and make you overanalyse or over think things keep working on yourself and learning what you can about improving you.
I'm sure you are a smart, funny, caring & attractive girl. Maybe a little of that got lost along the way. My motto now has been it's my time to shine. I know I got bogged down in the "all your fault" and rewriting of history that it affected my attitude toward life & others. I also know I'm a kind genorous funny man it got lost with living together renovations debt arguing and my own failure to communicate and set appropriate boundaries and following thru.my counsellor has told me I'm to forgiving and too nice or caring for my own good.i can see that detaching has helped me see my own imperfections and see that if we did reconcile there would need to be a mutual respect of each other's needs.
MB, I took the time to read most of your threads. Just getting caught up. You've been through an awful lot. I have no words at the moment, but I'll try to keep reading and maybe I can chip something in. If not know that I'm in your corner.
Zues, speechless on my thread? You could write pages and pages about anything. The fact that you have no words does not make me feel hopeful about all of this!
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Thanks Brad. I am trying to stop driving by, and have gotten a lot better. I don't go by there anywhere near as much as I used to. Working on it.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Hey MB...how are you? Thanks for your prayers and thoughts my friend. Also, I'm sure Zues will be able to help you. He said he hasn't read all the way through on your situation yet is all.
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
MB, don't tell anyone, but I may have found an address for ow. I did a couple of drive bys, but haven't seen her car there, so I'm not sure it's her. I'm not going to check up on her; I just want to know what part of town she's in. Why? I don't know. I guess so I'm better prepared when I'm in that part of town (where my IC and my hair stylist both are, dang it.) I still can't even stand the thought of driving by my old house. I don't want confirmation that they're still together, but I suppose I'll get that one day. I'm dreading that. But maybe they're not, since W said a week ago she "needs more time alone," and that she misses me and regrets what she's done. That conversation (and I never did list all the details) did give me hope. It sounded like reconciliation is possible in the future. I don't know how to handle that, if it happens. But that's why I got a bit upset at what I perceived as criticism. Not from you or Rain or Anna, but others. When the WASs reach out, I don't know at what point we stop NC and show them the path home? I'm not anywhere near there at this point. Just still hoping. Perhaps I'm being delusional, but it keeps me a bit happier.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
MB...don't feel hopeless about things. Sometimes there is nothing to be done except wait. It's not that you're giving up or not making an effort. Waiting is an active choice to give them time because you know they aren't ready. Six months ago, my H was not responsive to ANYTHING. Now he is much more receptive (more often than not, though he still has his moments). It's often not about what you need to do, but what they need to work out for themselves.
And NYGal...so glad you didn't feel criticized by us! And you are absolutely right...you DO have to leave them a path home. As long as we don't run after them and try to drag them by the arm...darnit.
