More and more, and less and less...

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Zues, your journal excerpt was interesting to read. Your struggle is so real in the way you write. It's almost like I can hear your conversation as it goes on in your head. I have those conversations in my head as well, but I never write them down on paper. Maybe my fear of someone reading them and feeling so exposed? Anyway, thank you for sharing! What's so sad in all of that is that you put a lot of thought and reasoning into how you were feeling, and then your XW followed through with what you had decided was the wrong decision. So unfair. There's a difference in thinking it and actually following through and walking away. You can say it gives you more compassion and understanding for the WAS, but I still think that it's extremely selfish to just walk away from your spouse without trying everything possible to save the marriage. If everything had been said and worked on until there was nothing else left to do, there would be no BD because both people would be on the same page since they were working together on it. Instead, they just walk away and force the other person into complete and total despair, loneliness, fear beyond belief, complete mistrust of potential future partners, heartbreak for the children, etc. The spouse that was promised "for better or worse" certainly didn't sign up for that kind of devastation. Just my opinion.