Well. I had a good weekend with the kids. We played some games, did some crafts together, played a lot! And I finally watched inside out with them one night.
It always seems to feel like I'm not doing enough with them though they are happy and often the 3 that can talk say they don't want to leave. So that's nice to hear.
I wanted to study a lot this weekend when I had free time. That didn't work out either. I was so tired after playing fri and sat. I just went to bed. Then last night I wasn't feeling good and after dropping off kids I got home and slept for 12 hours until I had to get up for school today. But I feel much better.

So I'm not sure why I did this. Saturday night S3 got sick in the middle of the night. I got up and cleaned him up and his bed and he went back to sleep. In the morning he was fine and played hard all day. I told W when I was dropping the boys off and she got upset I didn't tell her earlier in the day. Like she did when S1 got sick. If I expect her to tell me this kind of stuff why did I feel like I didn't have to tell her the same thing?

After a few upset texts from her about how I wasn't going to tell her etc. I said. I get that your mad and I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier in the day. I should have like you did with S1. I watched him all day and he didn't show any signs of still being sick. I should have told you and I am sorry for that.

I didn't get any response after that probably because she got what she wanted in a apology from me. I feel a bit forced into that apology. I don't see how I did anything wrong as far as he was fine after getting sick. I do see that she had te courtesy to tell me about S1 right away and I was expecting it when we met. I just kind of dropped it on her when we met.

The next thing is I hope she gets paid soon and can start paying me back. I am covering a large chunk of change today and it takes up pretty much all I had saved to get me through school. As long as I tighten up any spending I will be fine. It bothers me tho as after I separated from first W I took up all the debt myself and it screwed me over. W knows this and was with me while we struggled to climb out of the trouble I was in. Now it's almost like I'm headed in that path again. The difference is this time I'm not going to just let it slide. I know that when I do bring it up with her it will be met with anger in her end. It stresses me out

The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.